"How do I get a hot girlfriend?"

That's one of the most common questions in men's dating.

But the thinking is poisoned by scarcity...


Keep reading to discover why.

Note: This is part 2 in a mini-series about scarcity & abundance, becoming prosperous, and avoiding self-fulfilling prophesies.

The 1st article was about metaphors.  This 2nd article is about breaking out of scarcity loops (and acquiring abundance attributes).  You'll find a link to the 3rd article at the bottom of this article.

But first, read this article...

Most people operate with the 'Have-Do-Be' Pattern

Have-Do-Be is
wanting to Have,
therefore Doing to get
therefore Being (or Becoming).

#1: You want to have an attractive girl.

#2: Then, you do attractive things; or act attractive (to get the girl).

#3: Then, you become attractive (once you have the girl).

We know that's wrong.

Because if a girl is your only proof of attractiveness, then she'll eventually see through it.  Or, your subconscious will realize the lie you've been living, cognitive dissonance will activate, and you'll lose the girl through self-sabatoge.

Here's another example:

#1: I have $1 million dollars.

#2: Then, I act and behave like I'm rich.

#3: Therefore, I am rich.

Yet that's wrong.  According to cleveland.com, 7 in 10 lottery winners end up bankrupt.

Why Have-D0-Be Keeps you Locked in Scarcity

The thought of "I want to have."

or "I need to have."

That tells your subconscious that you need.

Therefore you become needy.

Therefore you are lacking.

Hence scarcity.

A simple reversal brings what you want:

'Be-Do-Have' Abundance Loop

Be-Do-Have is
therefore Doing,
therefore Having.

#1: You are attractive.

#2: Therefore, you do attractive things.  You act attractive.

(This is why 'fake it till you make it' is successful.)

#3: Therefore, you have attractive things and girls and friends in your life.

But having a single attractive girlfriend doesn't define your attractiveness.  It's your way of being.  The girl is merely an indicator of your attractiveness.

Here's another abundance example of why Donald Trump could go bankrupt yet still climb himself out of the dumpster and back into Trump Tower:

#1: You are valuable.

(Note: Money is a tool representing an exchange of value.  You go to the supermarket, give your money in exchange for food.  Therefore, money = value.)

#2: You give value.

#3: You have money.

This is another reason why most wealthy people practice tithing.

Tithing is the act of giving away 10% of your income to a cause you resonate with.

I purposely carry loose change on me while walking in big cities.

Because whenever I see a street musician and I like his music, I give him money.

This trains my subconscious mind that since I give money, then I already have money, then I must already be rich.

When I give money, it tells my subconscious mind I already have money

Ask most millionaires.  Most will say it was WAY easier to make their 2nd million.

It's WAY easier to add more money than it is to create money from nothing.

Be-Do-Have starts with the Story You Tell Yourself

"I am" is one of the most powerful phrases in the english language.

Self-fulfilling prophesy exists because your vibe attracts your tribe.  What you put out into the world reflects back onto you.

And what you put out is rooted in who you are.

You've read this far.  I invite you to take a deep breath, and feel the weight of your feet on the floor or your bottom sitting on your seat.

Now, for each section, I challenge you to hone in on the phrases you call yourself.  How do you keep yourself locked in a harmful thought-loop?

Self-fulfilling Prophesy


  • I'm stupid.
  • I'm retarded.


  • I am fat -> I eat food to reinforce it -> I have fat
  • I'm ugly.
  • I'm skinny.


  • I'm an alcoholic.


  • I'm weak
  • I'm a weakling


  • I'm evil.
  • I'm a devil.
  • You're a devil.


  • (I'll be) forever alone.
  • I'm single.



Money & Finances


One day, my friend was browsing Instagram and commented, "Jon... Mr. Fucking Fitness"

My friend has a beer belly.

Find out why that is in the next article:

Making Space for Abundance by Clearing out the Trash of Past Wrongdoings

About the author 

Jake Berger

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